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I should be paying alimony here

May 18, 2011

One thousand, five hundred and eighty-four hours.

That is how long it’s been since I last posted. That is inexcusable and, if I have any readers lingering out there in the aftermath of those two lost months, I am sorry. I’d like to pretend that all that time has been spent in the tireless pursuit of scholarly glory, but lying about my own academic integrity seems tacky somehow. I have very little academic integrity, for the record. The small successes I’ve achieved have been the spawn of pressure and a remarkable knack at faking self-assuredness on paper. But anyway, back to you, my poor neglected little blog.

April was an interesting month. It both sped and crawled by. In a fit of rash optimism I took part in NaPoWriMo (National Poetry Writing Month), and just about managed it. I will freely admit that some of what I wrote was dreadful, but I’m hopeful that some of the drafts will turn out to be workable. I still haven’t summoned up the courage to look at them just yet. Outside of poetry not much really occurred, just the general wastrel life you’d expect from someone in their final semester of university.

Oh, who am I kidding?

There’s nothing outside of poetry.

May has been a bit of a blur: everything now feels so final, whether I’m ambling down the pavement in the sunshine or running naked into the North Sea at dawn (yes, this did in fact happen). I’m having trouble dealing with the fact that I have to leave St Andrews, something made only more real by the fact that I’m sitting my last undergraduate exams. (I wish I hadn’t lost my mood ring…I do not know how to feel these days.)

For now my plan is to hide from the future like I hid from that big wedding that happened at the end of last month. Once exams are over I’ll be back to post something more eloquent. Funnily enough my last exam is on Friday, which is also Quoi le Phoque‘s first birthday! Now I have two excuses to gorge on cake…

…two more than I usually need, then.

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